Modesty and Reflection

Find a heated modesty argument here.

 Like most Christian women who grew up in the church, I have heard countless sermons, lectures, and comments about modesty. Growing up, my mother would only allow me to wear shorts or skirts that were an inch past my fingertips when I stood with my arms at my sides. She used to remind me that, “we have attractive bodies and that can be very powerful, and so we must be respectful of others and of ourselves in the way that we dress, speak, and move.” In eighth grade, I went on a youth group retreat and the girls, independent of leaders, had a big discussion about

whether or not we were going to wear two-piece or one-piece swimsuits in order to respect the boys. Modesty seems to be a key portion of Christian indoctrination. At the end of her chapter on modesty, Evans concludes, “it’s not what we wear but how we wear it. And like clothing, modesty fits each woman a little differently” (Evans 140). Her conclusion sources from her discussions with Ahava and a Mennonite woman.

Ahava describes tzniut, the term used for modesty in Judaism as “more that just a list of rules about how to dress. It’s a state of mind. The idea is to avoid dressing in a way that draws attention to your outer self, but instead to dress so that your inner self is allowed to shine through. You should try to be pretty, but not alluring” (Evans 122). Here we see an idea supported by Paul in 2 Timothy 2:9, “I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.” Both the idea of tznuit and Paul’s writings in 2 Timothy advocate for guidelines that dictate how a woman appears so that the emphasis is instead placed on her heart.

The Marylike Standards of Modesty

The question then becomes what sort of dress guidelines are appropriate. Paul firmly states that “every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head” (Corinthians 11:5). Deuteronomy 22:5 requires that women “not wear men’s clothing… for the Lord your God detests anyone who does this.” The Catholic Church has codified modesty into The Marylike Standards of Modesty which stipulates sleeve and skirt length, amount of coverage required (measured in inches), the moderate use of more decorative fabrics (laces etc.), and to what amount clothing may emphasize any part of the body. Isaiah writes a fiery passage against accessories and as we saw in 2 Timothy, Paul echoes that view. Many, many religious groups have guidelines about modest dress, and very few of them look alike. So it seems that if the Bible has a cohesive set of modesty guidelines, it will require a significant amount of analysis to reveal them.

I’d like to shift our focus just slightly. Because while tzniut and many Scriptures offer rules for modest dress, Evans proposes that the rules aren’t really what matter. In spending time with a Mennonite woman, Evans realizes that “there are women for whom the bonnets and aprons foster humility and women for whom the same things foster pride.” She then continues to argue that our efforts to codify modesty have less to do with the pursuit of modesty and more to do with our desire to take the easier road. Modesty is complex and it can often seem easier to measure skirt lengths than to wrestle with Scripture. By codifying modesty, Evans argues (and I agree) that Christians get tangled up in the rules and lose sight of the true goal which often leads to more conflict and more bunny trails as Christians argue over how modesty is best manifested. But really, modesty is about humility. It’s about acknowledging that we are not the best and about finding contentment in our Spirit-filled selves rather than creating ways to draw attention to ourselves.

All of this sounds great, and I agree that Christians have lost themselves among the rules of modesty. But I also hesitate, because modesty is important, and as Christians we are called to hold one another accountable. I worry that allowing people to personally define modesty according to what they see as appropriate places humans above God and leaves no room for Christians to hold one another accountable. God has given us rules to guide us. They are scattered across the Bible; so it’s hardly accurate to say that God does not believe in rules. As we see in the Christ narrative, Jesus reframes and deepens the law from external to internal, requiring that we examine our hearts. But even as Jesus deepens the law and addresses our hearts, he does not remove the law from its place. If we apply the Christ narrative to modesty rules, we find that the rules do indeed have a place, provided that we remember their primary role in shaping and guiding our hearts rather than our closets.

I don’t have an answer for what the list of modesty rules should include. The Bible was not written to speak to today’s fashion trends and so this issue is quite convoluted. But in reflecting on the last several months of considering biblical womanhood, I’m reminded of the general theme that has emerged: biblical womanhood is about a woman correctly placing God at the top of her list, the center of her life, and the authority over all she does. So maybe Evans is right; maybe the best approach to modesty is to pursue a relationship with God, to ask him questions, and to listen to the answers. If I’ve learned anything in this journey of musings, it’s that God wants to respond to our questions. He wants help us wrestle with the complexities of our beliefs, and he loves to liberate us.